To address the obvious up front: Everyone you know is, indeed, in Italy right now. And if they’re not, they’re scrolling through TikTok watching strangers traipse around Italy — or Santa Fe, or Marrakesh, or Paris, or even just that bougie boutique hotel just outside of town. It’s summer, baby, and everyone seems to be on the vacation of their dreams. 

The appeal of getting away is almost painfully obvious. Vacations optimize well-deserved time off from work, offer the chance to decompress and bolster our mental health and expand our horizons and exposure to people and places unknown. Understandably, after the pandemic kept most of the world sheltered-in-place for years, people seem to be placing more stock than ever in their PTO.

Lately, however, our social feeds are teeming with captions and photo dumps that suggest these getaways are being treated less like adventures and more like missions. Can a road trip down the Pacific Coast Highway usher in a new personal “era?” Will a week in Rio de Janeiro help you transcend burnout or a breakup? It appears that many are willing to spend months of planning, drop oodles of cash (inflation, ever heard of her?), and go to world-traversing lengths to reach peak vacation mode. What’s not clear, though, is if it’s all worth it. 

Of course, it would be silly to suggest time off isn’t an objectively good thing. According to Dr. Sarah Stevens PsyD, even staycations can serve your mind well. “Taking time off from work has positive effects on overall well-being,” she says. “The rejuvenating benefits of vacation, including cognitive enhancements and self-reports of increased happiness, are not limited to faraway destinations.”

MEET THE EXPERT

• Dr. Sarah Stevens PsyD is a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist.
• Dr. Chandler Sims Chang is a Los Angeles-based psychologist and founder of Therapy Lab.

Dr. Chandler Sims Chang explains why these long-awaited trips can be emotionally transformative. “Travel provides perspective that’s often missing in our everyday lives,” she says. “So even if it’s not this grand transcendental perspective, it’s just a shift in location. Your position within your life kind of changes; you’re outside of your own life. It can be really provocative and evocative of different emotions.” 

Dopamine Destinations

That’s the crux of the wanderlust-ian high we’re chasing: changing who and where we are. But sometimes, the pressure to make our getaways self-actualizing (or even just aesthetically pleasing) can end up setting impossible expectations for that time spent OOO, and as humans, we can all be guilty of letting our minds run wild, suitcases in hand.

“People have magical ideas about what will make them feel good,” says Dr. Kenneth Feiner PsyD, a New York-based psychologist. “And people’s ideas about what will make them feel good don’t always work.”

Instagram and TikTok are obvious friends of comparison (the thief of joy, famously), but the airlines and hotel groups promising consumers comfort and luxury can be just as persuasive. And if those sponsored posts and promotional e-mails sound enticing to you, that doesn’t mean you’re gullible — your brain just is.

“Marketing science shapes some of this,” Dr. Stevens says. “Travel-related companies know the value we place on our vacation days, especially since most of us have precious few of those. So, aspirational phrases like ‘find your perfect vacation rental’ or ‘tips for the perfect getaway’ are meant to trigger your motivation and reward-seeking brain functions.”

Our lizard brains love those shiny, pretty amenities companies like this offer, and that’s why for some, planning can be half the fun when it comes to vacationing. Booking IG-worthy hotels, landing coveted reservations, and scheduling tours and tastings can provide us with dopamine canapés when we’re still firmly on the ground and hungry for our pending plans. More anxious travelers, though, can end pre-trip prepping to their own detriment. 

Booking IG-worthy hotels, landing coveted reservations, and scheduling tours and tastings can provide us with dopamine canapés when we’re still firmly on the ground and hungry for our pending plans. More anxious travelers, though, can end pre-trip prepping to their own detriment. 

“If you or your travel partner have perfectionistic tendencies, vacation planning may involve some constellation of compulsive behaviors such as excessive research, comparing and contrasting flights and hotels, seeking reassurance by reading reviews, or over-scheduling activities,” Dr. Stevens explains. “All of this behavior is normal in some quantity when planning a trip, and a certain amount of stress is expected when breaking out of your routine and creating a novel experience.  However, when it is done to excess, it could be a sign anxiety is playing a role.”

Equal Opportunity Getaways

The pressure to optimize every spare moment can put undue stress on relationships, too. Traveling with a partner can bring you closer — would the honeymooners all over TikTok suggest otherwise? — but it’s also a chance for unaddressed conflict to arise. If The White Lotus taught us anything, it’s that f*cking and fighting can come hand-in-hand in paradise.

“It’s a bad sign for clients if they can’t find a way to enjoy a vacation together,” says Dr. Feiner. “Even at the very beginning of a relationship, conflicts get played out, and usually the conflicts are already there.”

Sharing the same time and space to “get well” can also cause personalities and personal preferences to clash, thus tainting the rose-colored IG filter lighting the trip in question. Even the most in-synch lovers may define relaxation differently. “What recharges us is personal,” says Dr. Stevens, using the travel habits of a couple she’s worked with as an example. “For him, site-seeing is energizing. For her, it’s draining.”

That’s why getting on the same page with your companion before you board is vital for an equal-opportunity getaway. “Having a travel partner who has the same experience goals helps,” she says, “and if you and your travel partner have different vacation goals, alternating vacation choices is an option.”

In This Economy?

All of these ambitious plans, romantic or otherwise, cost money. And in 2023, simply getting to your destination can mean going nearly broke, too. According to a May report by travel app Hopper, airfare to Europe and Asia from the U.S. is the priciest it’s been in five years. Flights to Europe are averaging over $1,100 per ticket, and those to Asia are averaging out at over $1,800 — that’s more than $300 more per ticket to both continents than in 2022. The pressure to spend that kind of cash (or put it all on a credit card and add to your debt) can end up ruining what’s supposed to be a break from life’s heaviness, but Dr. Stevens notes that feeling monetary stress while planning can actually be a good thing. 

“It is this discomfort that prevents you from overspending and sabotaging your own financial goals,” she says. “I worry more about a person who doesn’t stress about spending money they don’t have. Coming home to even more monetary stress because you overspent on your trip doesn’t feel good. A vacation that creates more stress did not live up to its purpose.”

Travel as Therapy

What, though, is that purpose? It’s different for everyone, but battling burnout is one of the most obvious benefits of getting away. With the COVID-19 pandemic came a more public understanding of burnout, a type of work-related stress that the World Health Organization (WHO) defined as a syndrome in 2019. As such, wellness is now (quite literally) as much of a journey as it is a destination. 

“Since the onset of the pandemic, there has been an unprecedented surge in demand for wellness retreats and activities,” says Jennifer McClymont, a travel expert at Naya Traveler. The company curates custom itineraries to help clients better explore cities around the globe. “Travelers are more invested than ever in their overall well-being, encompassing physical, spiritual, and mental aspects. Week-long wellness breaks have become a regular addition to people’s lives, with many booking multiple retreats throughout the year to prioritize self-care and rejuvenation.” 

This suggests that many of us are more exhausted than we know, and that makes PTO feel less like a break and more like a life raft — especially for those who are unable to take time away from work or truly log off.

“Some people have that ability [to log off], and other people really can’t,” says Dr. Feiner. “I can’t tell you how many people I see who don’t feel like they are able to completely turn off their computers.” For those who do have the privilege of flexibility, there’s no formula for how long and how far one has to go to feel restored, especially if they’re carrying baggage that can’t be checked. 

“The vacation doesn’t really solve anything, but it can give you a needed break,” he adds, noting that burnout is complicated. For those who are under especially high stress, it can be tougher to use vacations in a productive (read: revitalizing) way. “It’s good for people’s brains to be in an area that’s unfamiliar, even if that area is 50 miles away. Vacations can be restorative for people who work very hard, or they can give a break for people who don’t like their work — but you still return to the life that you had shortly after.” 

Bracing for Impact

Should you be able to make a getaway this year, re-entering that post-vacay stratosphere can be rocky, so it’s advisable to prepare for impact. People seldom feel well-rested after being shaken awake, and jumping back into normal life after vacationing can feel the same way. 

“I do think there’s a ramping down period, and it’s different for different people,” says Dr. Chang, which is why she recommends carrying discoveries from your trip with you to ease the pain. 

“When you come back, you [may] feel inspired to bring back whatever you were doing on vacation that you especially loved. And people often say, ‘Oh, I’m going to plug that into my life and redesign my days,’” she explains. “When you’re feeling that way, write down two or three key goals. Because by day two or three, when you’re back in your life, you may have forgotten.”

Maybe one day, we’ll figure out how to choose rest — real, meaningful rest — when it comes to taking vacations. “Future research in the possible restorative benefits of virtual reality ‘vacationing’ will be interesting,” Dr. Stevens adds. But for now, intention seems to be a key component for revitalization —  whether you’re seeking it through therapy, a daily self-care routine, or even a single night away from home and what’s familiar.